President Donald Trump signed an executive order this morning indefinitely suspending the application of common sense in the White House. Titled “Draining Common Sense From American Politics,” the executive order bars people with a certain “rational-prone” disposition from entering the seat of government for the next 4 years, while welcoming individuals with a “brash and…
Akufo Addo creates new Ministry for Strategic Dev’t of Jobs For The Boys
The new government led by Nana Akufo Addo will have a new ministry to oversee the creation of more jobs for friends and other party functionaries. The new Ministry for Strategic Development of Jobs For The Boys has been tasked with the development of new and innovation ways of splitting up existing ministries and creating…
NPP footsoldiers planning to respond to every criticism by shouting ‘CHANGE’
Footsoldiers of the ruling New Patriotic Party – which won the December elections on a message of change- have unveiled a new PR plan that involves shouting ‘Change’ at anyone who criticizes the new administration. The footsoldiers say the new PR plan has proved “exceptionally successful” in deflecting criticisms levelled against President Akufo-Addo, after parts of his…
Voters ready to ‘show politicians how it feels to be repeatedly lied to’
Several voters who took ‘gifts’ after pledging to cast their votes for particular politicians, say they are ready to “show the politicians exactly how it feels to be repeatedly lied to.” The voters, who head to the polls on Wednesday, confirmed that several politicians and party stooges attempted to buy their votes with “large amounts…
Mahama to commission second phase of Special Voting project
President John Mahama will commission the second phase of the Shambolic Special Voting project during the final leg of his last-minute project commissioning mania. According to officials, the Special Voting project, which is a joint venture by the Electoral Commission and the Mahama government, “demonstrates both side’s commitment to incompetence.” The second phase of the Special…
Latest opinion poll gives Ben Ephson mixed popularity ratings
A new online poll released this afternoon has given Ben Ephson a mixed popularity rating. An in depth analysis of over 10,000 social media posts revealed that Mr. Ephson’s popularity ratings have surged among NDC voters but among NPP voters, the pollster’s ratings have seen a dramatic decline. According to the pollsters, the results of…
‘Neutral’ declared word of the year
Ghana Institute of Linguistics has declared ‘neutral’ as its 2016 word of the year, reflecting a year dominated by fractious political discourse within the Ghanaian social media community. ‘Neutral’ beat contenders like ‘kpokpogbligbli’ and ‘pro-bono’, after its usage among social media commentators surged over 59,000% in the last week. The adjective has been in existence…
Dubai residents demand apology for Circle interchange comparison
Residents of Dubai are reportedly demanding an immediate apology from the government of Ghana, after officials claimed Accra has been “transformed into Dubai”, following the inauguration of a Brazilian government funded interchange in the heart of the capital city. An official statement said the residents of Dubai have taken offense to the unfavourably comparison, describing…