Exclusive copy of the airline welcome message for the new Ghana Airways

Exclusive copy of the airline welcome message for the new Ghana Airways

Government’s very clever idea to invest scarce national resources into the establishment of a new state owned airline during such grim economic times, has taken a step closer to fruition with the release of an exclusive copy of the airline welcome message for the new Ghana Airways. Like its predecessors- the Ghana International Airlines which suspended operations in May 2010 and Ghana Airways which was liquidated in June 2005, this new airline will become a money making venture for Ghana politicians and the airline’s top management.

YesiYesi Ghana brings you an exclusive copy of this airline welcome message:

Pre-boarding Announcement 

Hello passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for Ghana Airways flight JM419. You should  be thankful we are only three hours behind schedule. Last night, the flight was 8 hours late, so I say again, be very grateful we are only 3 hours late. We are now inviting those passengers with small children any Ministers of State and relatives of the top management of this airline who are flying on heavily discounted or free tickets to begin boarding at this time. Everyone else can wait. Sorry we could not print your boarding passes, the printer run out of ink.

Final Boarding Announcement

This is the final boarding call for two passengers with the titles, Honourable and Director booked on flight JM419. You are all late for your flight but please take your time. This airline is just like your official vehicles, we only move when you are ready. Thank you.

Pre-flight Announcement

Brothers and sisters, welcome onboard Flight JM419, we may run out of fuel before we get to our destination, but do not worry, God will see us through. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts if you have them, but please do not be too comfortable. If Honourable’s girlfriends turn up, we may have to eject a few of you paying passengers to make way for them. If this happens, please do not bring up arguments about your rights as a customer, we simply do not care. Honourable and his girlfriends have priority over all of you paying customers. We hope you brought some food and water with you because even though this is a 6 hour flight, we have no meal service for this flight. We have some orange squash but that may run out after serving passengers in the front section. Try and sleep if you do not mind that persistent noise coming from the air plane’s engine. We did not ask the mechanics at Kotoka to check it out because we did not think it was a major problem.

Safety Briefing

Brother and sisters, for the emergency procedures please direct your attention to the monitors above, only one of them is in good working order so those at the back will have to stand up to view the screen. There are six emergency exits on this aircraft but only two of them work, one at the front to be used by Honourables and Directors only, and one at the back for us, the air hostesses. In the likely event of an emergency landing due to shortage of fuel, please remain seated and just pray and leave it all to God. Finally, we hope you enjoy your flight as we get you to your destination 3 hours late and it is very likely that your luggage will be lost.

Ghana Airways- A flying symbol of poor management and crap service.

 

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