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BREAKING NEWS: Wealthy man buys a house

BREAKING NEWS: Wealthy man buys a house

Forget about the floods that claimed a life and displaced several others in Kumasi over the weekend. We have some breaking news that will send shock waves through the entire nation.  A man who reportedly earns tax-free wages of about £140,000 per week has acquired a big house in a suburb of Accra. The new…

Dzamefe Report recommends ‘Muntari slaps’ for all GFA and MoYS officials

Officials of the Ghana Football Association and the Minister of Youth and Sports who sanctioned the payment of $100, 000 to the Black Stars’ ball boy should be subjected to “Muntari slaps,” according to a recommendation by the Dzamefe Report. The commission’s 396-page report which outlines Ghana’s shambolic showing at the last World Cup in…

Larry Acheampong’s Angolan friend pleased with white paper on Dzamefe report

Larry Acheampong’s phantom Angolan friend who was paid some $20,000 for providing directions to a popular supermarket in Brazil during the last World Cup has reportedly welcomed the government’s white paper on the Dzamefe Commission Report with wild celebrations.  The phantom Angolan who is permanently resident inside Larry Acheampong’s head, said he was “pleased with government’s…

FIFA’s Jack Warner fights extradition to US, cites fear of being shot by racist cops

Former FIFA vice president, Jack Warner, has mounted a legal challenge against his extradition to the US, arguing that “the colour of his skin will make him an open target in a country where law enforcement officials routinely abuse and harass blacks.” In a statement to a court in his native Trinidad and Tobago, Mr.…

FBI requests Dzamefe report to help decode the co-efficient of FIFA bribe distribution 

Sources close to the investigations into corruption at FIFA have revealed that the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) has asked for a copy of the report by the Justice Dzamefe Commission in an effort to understand how the alleged bribes were distributed.  The Dzamefe Commission’s report is the result of several months of inquiry into…

Dzamefe report delayed by dumsor and noise-making ban

It has emerged that the delay in the release of the long-awaited Dzamefe Commission report is because of a combination of dumsor and the ban on drumming and noise-making. Speaking to the presidential correspondent Afia Yentierebia Asare on condition of anonymity, a deep-throat source at the Flagstaff House intimated that due to the erratic supply…

Nigerian attempts to acquire Chelsea FC 

Just days after Nigerian billionaire, Aliko Dangote declared intentions to acquire Arsenal Football Club, another Nigerian has reportedly launched an audacious attempt to acquire Chelsea F.C from current owner Roman Abramovich. Chief Goodluck Temimobele hoped to to acquire the newly crowned English Premier League champions in an elaborate 419 scheme. Below is the email the…

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