Gov’t launches ‘The Dumbest Xcuse’ show for appointees

The government of Ghana has launched a talent show to find that one appointee with a special talent for coming up with the most dumbest excuse as cover up the misappropriation of public funds.

Dubbed ‘The Dumbest Xcuse,’ this competition seeks to identify and honour one government appointee who stands head and shoulders above his or her colleagues in concocting phoney cover up stories. “Ghanaians are well aware that our appointees are obviously well versed in telling fairy tales, but we want to find the best of the best. The one who can spin the best cock-and-bull story. We need to find and reward that individual,” said one competition organiser.

Insiders have revealed that there are 3 strong favourites who could win the maiden edition of ‘The Dumbest Xcuse.’ Honourable Larry Acheampong- who claims to have paid an Angolan man $20, 000 for directions to a supermarket in Brazil, Honourable Lauretta Lamptey- the watch woman who has been caught in bed with the robbers; and her excuse for staying in a hotel costing the Ghanaian taxpayer $450 a day is that her official residence is still being redesigned, 3 years after work begun. The third name on the favourites list is the Ghanaian Ambassador to Burkina Faso- who oversaw the construction of a wall which cost the taxpayer over $600,000.

According to the rules of the competition, any government appointee caught with their fingers in the national purse will automatically be entered into the competition. Their defence stories will be scored by a team of judges made up of a mixture of swindlers, scammers and chronic liars aka seasoned politicians. Organisers hinted that those who come up with the most ridiculously stupid stories to cover up the embezzlement of public funds stand a better chance of winning over the judges. They further explained that although the judges have the power to eliminate contestants, the winner will be ultimately determined by the public. “The louder the public outcry, the higher the points.”

The winner will be rewarded with a record looting deal worth several millions of dollars and an opportunity to perform his or her cock-and-bull act before a toothless committee of enquiry.

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