I Deserve An Oscar – Lil Win

Kwadwo Nkansah, popularly known in the Ghanaian entertainment industry as Lil Win, is reportedly furious with the organizers as well as the awards committee of the recently held Oscars.

According to reports, Lil Win does not understand how he did not win the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. He is again annoyed at the fact that he was not invited to grace the red carpet.

“I worked in over 50 films in 2013. That is an average of one movie a week! Are these people trying to say that not a single one of them was worth the nod?” – a visibly agitated Lil Win was heard asking a group of reporters who sought his opinion on the glitzy event held in Hollywood, Los Angeles in America.

“Lupita is my small girl. I used to visit her at Wesley Girls School, where her talent was first unearthed. I would always bring her hyɛmema to supplement the food provided at the school’s dining hall. Now she has won an Oscar and I haven’t! This is a travesty of justice,” Lil Win fumed. “I was ready for this big event! My US visa was sorted and my Christmas shirt ironed despite the best efforts of ECG. And I was ready to show the world that if there is Nairobi Blue then there is also Kumasi Red.”

Responding to the fact that he should not be surprised since he was not nominated, Lil Win revealed that he was in fact nominated but he was intentionally left off the list to avoid drawing attention from the State of the Nation Address delivered last week in Accra. “I know I am bigger than the president. I am even bigger than Kofi Annan, Bukom Banku and Asamoah Gyan. But Presido is my main man so I cannot and will not steal the limelight. I didn’t do it to Kufuor, so why Mahama?”

When asked about his next move, Lil Win announced a plan to use social media as a platform to protest the injustice.

He is urging his fans to use the #LilWinWinner hashtag on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. “With my legion of fans we will force the Oscar organizers to either give me an Oscar this year or reserve one for me next year. Even though justice delayed in justice denied, I will be content with getting one in 2015. Lupita cannot be the only African to win an Oscar, she will be too lonely at the top.”

In the meantime he plans to star in the next Kumawood blockbuster tentatively titled “Oscar Lil Win Part I and II”. He is confident that his sublime acting skills will remind the awards committee of their terrible mistake. After all, “An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere”, he ended, quoting Martin Luther King Jr.

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YesiYesi Ghana  is a satire/spoof news publication . All articles contained within this blog, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental.

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