Govt promises to invent ‘more bogus’ schemes to steal your money in the coming year
It’s the Christmas and New Year season, and with it comes resolutions to get better at whatever we do. In the spirit of the season, government has laid out its New Year’s resolution with a promise to get better at devising “more bogus” schemes to siphon more public funds into the pockets of close friends and relatives of the current administration.
Government said its New Year resolution will aim at inventing more bogus and corruption-fuelled schemes to enrich the “family and friends of the administration.” These bogus schemes, according to officials, will include more ridiculous and useless projects like billing the public accounts a sum of over a million dollars for sticking a few photos on 116 buses.
The government also thanked the good people of Ghana for their “unwavering tolerance and apathy” towards the wasteful use of the nation’s resources and the general incompetence of the government. “We keep promising Ghanaians a better future each year but the only thing that gets better is the swiftness with which we empty the national coffers and hide the wealth away in foreign banks. We are very grateful for your tolerance and your usual ‘fa ma Nyame’ stance, and we hope to see more of this in the coming year.”
The government’s statement also warned Ghanaians to expect more hardship in the coming year, “we are looting the coffers quicker than the inflow of revenue, so the future for our dear country can only be bleak. But be assured that we will continue to buy hotels in Dubai and buy private jets and luxury cars with your money, trusting that you, the good people of Ghana, in usual fashion, will ‘manage’ with the little that drips down to you and to go about your civic duties with a smile on your faces. Have Ameri Christmas and God bless Ghana, the country we all love dearly.”