Ghana gov’t gains prized AAA looting rating from S&P

The current Ghanaian government has received a major boost to its looting credentials after gaining Standard & Poor’s top-tier AAA looting rating this morning.

The rating agency attributed this morning’s upgrade to the government’s successful implementation of the Create, Loot and Share (CLS) policy. “Today’s upgrade is primarily driven by our assessment that the policy initiatives that have been taken by the present Ghanaian administration has been largely successful. And the evidence is there for all to see- the SADA/GYEEDA saga, the World Cup debacle and the recent Burkina Faso Embassy wall issue,” said S&P in its statement.

A government spokesman also confirmed the news about the government’s top-tier looting rating ahead of S&P’s announcement. “This is good news,” he said. He praised the efforts of individuals like honourable Larry ‘Angola’ Acheampong, honourable Kojo ‘Sob’ Adu-Asare and honourable Elvis ‘Weeping’ Ankrah for their tireless efforts to make the government’s Create, Loot and Share policy a great success. He also hinted that the government is currently working on other CLS policy initiatives that will further strengthen the current AAA looting rating. “We are very confident that the president’s Youth Enterprise Support (YES) initiative will be another CLS success story.”

“Ghanaians shouldn’t be too surprised if they one day wake up to the news that another government appointee has paid a Martian a cool $20,000 for directions to the Flagstaff House,” he added.

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