‘I had absolutely no intention of resigning!’ – Kwabena Agyepong

Mr Kwabena Agyepong, the  NPP General Secretary, has rejected in the strongest terms possible any suggestion created by a press release yesterday that he has resigned.  ‘I had absolutely intention of tendering in my resignation today,’ Mr Agyepong said in an interview yesterday.  He insisted that nobody can push him to take that step.

‘I wanted to resign,’ he said, ‘but I’ll do it at my own time.’ He claimed that he had actually wanted to resign on Friday, ‘but because of what they’ve done, I’ve changed my mind.’ The NPP chief scribe was apparently not pleased with the statement at all: ‘Where is the BNI when you need them?’ he charged, ‘How I wish they would fish out the perpetrators of this diabolical statement!’

When reporters went to the NPP headquarters to interview party executives about the recent controversy, they only met a bunch of toddlers playing boisterously in the party offices. The kids were so engrossed in their energetic play that they had no ear to listen to enquiries from the journalists. Papers were torn and scattered everywhere, projectiles were flying back and forth, catching some hapless kids on their heads; screams of pain and squeals of delight could be heard, and the children were all mired thickly in mud.

It took a while before the journalists realised that methodbehind the madness they were observing. What seemed to be a senseless melee was actually a well-coordinated game, and the children were in two camps: Team 2016 and Team 2020. And any time one kid in any of the teams got hit in the head, there is a general shout of joy, ‘Rado! Rado! Rado!’

The journalists had to quickly leave the premises after one of them was struck on his sakora head by a rock. He went home with a splitting headache, only to realise when he arrived thathe’d been dumsored.