What does a government do when it runs out of ideas and the largest opposition party decides to keep their bright economic ideas all to themselves? Simple! Seek expert help. And who better to consult in times of such frightening currency depreciation than the politician who has seen it all and still survives in office; Mr. Robert Mugabe!
The government has confirmed the Zimbabwean leader will be taking part in deliberations at the National Economic Forum at Senchi. Mr Mugabe is expected to speak at a special session on how politicians can survive in office despite the obvious economic failures. He will also be expected to offer ideas on an intended policy to control incessant criticisms from citizens who have nothing better to do other than moan about the deplorable state of the economy.
Government officials at the forum are said to be thrilled at the prospect of learning from the man who single handedly managed his country through one of the highest inflation rates in recorded history. “We will spend a whole afternoon with president Mugabe, picking his brain for ideas on how we can remain in office despite the obvious. He is simply the most experienced leader to consult in such matters. The man’s record speaks for itself. We will like to know how he has managed to hold onto power for 26 years in the face of such challenging circumstances. How did he deal with the public reaction when the inflation rate hit the dizzying heights of 6.5 sextillion percent in mid-November 2008? These are the things we will like to learn from him,” one official said excitedly.
A statement from Zimbabwean officials has also confirmed the ninety year old leader will be making the trip to Senchi. It said “President Mugabe is delighted to offer his expertise to fellow African leaders and policy makers. He will also like to commend the Ghanaian leadership for choosing the most appropriate venue for the event. Financial constrains should never be a hinderance to luxury. Why sleep on a double bed when u can borrow money to buy a kingsize bed.”