NPP parliamentary candidates to be selected through acid throwing contest

Executives of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) say they will use an “acid throwing contest” to determine who will represent the party during next year’s parliamentary elections. 

This new selection process will replace the party’s traditional parliamentary primaries which involved canvassing for votes from the party’s grassroots. They explained that “the ability to throw corrosive substances on ones opponent is the ultimate measure of one’s suitability to hold a seat in parliament.
Candidates seeking to represent Ghana’s largest opposition party in parliament will be required to sling acidic fluids at each other from a distance. Survivors will go on to represent the pathetic patriotic party at the next election. 
The party’s executives are confident that the acid throwing contest will uncover the most suitable candidates to run on the party’s ticket. One party executive maintained that the acid throwing contest was the ultimate test of suitability. “The traditional attributes of tolerance, honesty, intelligence and selflessness is not much of an acid test,” he added.