NPP quits 2016 elections to focus on petty internal squabbles

Executives of the New Patriotic Party have formally announced the party’s withdrawal from the 2016 general elections “to allow them to fully focus their time and energy on bickering with each other.”

Party chairman, Paul Afoko, who made this announcement earlier today, said the move was necessary because ‘the petty squabbles within the party is going to be more enjoyable than the impending electoral battle with the ruling NDC ahead of the elections next year.’ Mr Paul Afoko insisted that the decision was taken ‘in the best interest of Ghanaians.’

The chairman of the largest opposition party also accused the Mahama administration of breaking the spirit of Ghanaians with relentless bouts of dumsor, gargantuan corruption scandals and a valueless currency in constant free fall. He argued that ‘Ghanaians needed to be cheered up and it was the opposition party’s duty to do so with constant in-fighting and squabbles.’

Reports also indicate that Mr Kwabena Agyepong, General Secretary of the party, in preparation to join the on-going internal fight in Accra, is now in Kumasi seriously swallowing terribly large dollops of fufu. When journalists spoke to him, he responded with a one-liner: ‘You don’t go to battle on an empty stomach.’

Meanwhile, the ruling NDC has commended the NPP ‘for their patriotism during a time of national crisis.’ Speaking in an interview, the chairman of the ruling NDC, Asiedu-Nketsia, said the NPP is now learning to be a responsible opposition party by ‘doing their bit to entertain Ghanaians and also helping to take minds off the deepening energy crisis.’ He encouraged the general population to ‘emulate the good example of the NPP executives and refrain from engaging in cynical lamentations against the government.’

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