Pre Poning

‘Pre poning’ is a Kenyan phrase for pre announcing the much delayed, much needed, much discussed project publicly, again, at least twice, before the fact. Africa Unite! In Ghana it covers the much delayed power barges from Turkey. One or more it seems may be sighted off the territorial waters of Ghana, in short appear in December…or January ..or whatever.

Jacob Zuma, President of South Africa is channeling the classic film Zulu starring Michael Caine in which an embattled and encircled set of British troops faced down the legendary Shaka Zulu’s men. Armed with spears, hide shields and bloody intent, the Zulus overwhelmed the Brits in numbers and battle formation strategy. Whilst the benkum (left) and nifa (right) wings attracted, tormented and distracted the British guns like the horns of a water buffalo in heat (reference Animal Planet), the adonten and gyase divisions of Shaka attacked from the middle and rammed their message home. Hard.

Modern day Zuma has a similar if not small problem, 4 wives, plenty children expensively catered for by the taxpayer (benkum), an ANC that is loosing ground in terms of delivering the Mandela Rainbow Nation dream of equity (nifa) and the small matter of the millions spent in renovating/building/upscaling his family homestead in Nkandla (gyase). The millions spent on the fire fighting feature, otherwise known as the ‘swimming pool’ comes to mind.
Mr. Zuma and thus ANC led government have now indicated that they plan to unilaterally (adonten) leave the International Criminal Court (ICC) after SA refused to acknowledge a warrant for the arrest of Sudan’s Al Bashir and let him fly home after he had visited SA, on the skin of his teeth. Africa Unite. When you, a septugenerian president with a majority in the legislature at home (never mind the rape charges, since cleared of an HIV positive woman – he took a shower after said act to prevent contamination) and can thus avoid corruption and other such undignified charges at home, it is prudent to close the door, firmly to international fora like the ICC that could embarrass you abroad. Any one for a swim? Bring the fire crackers, Zuma has the brai covered. Never mind the Zulu references, when your neighbours beard is on fire, you pre pone the possible impact on yourself.

A 2 bit diaspora actor praises President John Dramani Mahama on his fight against child brides and gender activists and all manner of lesser types in Ghana question pompously what exactly this man has ever done or said, publicly indeed in this area to warrant acknowledgement. Shaaaame. On you. The Ministry of Gender, Children and Social Protection (MoGCSP) has announced today, after the fact of the international prasie, that in fact after their Minister, Nana Oye Lithur took an Anamoba-ish selfie standing at a podium in an empty UN General Assembly conference room, that in December (there is a December in each calendar year, do the math), by which time at least one of the 5 times postponed power barges from Turkey would have landed, they will be kickstarting a program to End Child Marriage. Pre poning.

Springfield Group, an energy company based in Nigeria has rightfully denied claims that it or its CEO, one Kevin Okyere, arrested and bailed in London last week alongside the former oil minister of Nigeria (and her mama) on allegations of corruption, money laundering and bribery, has done anything wrong. For insurance, ahead of the battle royal, Springfield Group has assembled Mr. Okyere’s wife’s family tree (she is the niece of Nana Addo Akuffo-Addo’s wife) and all Twitter, Facebook and instagram pictures of Okyere hobnobbing with President Mahama, his brother(s) and all such from the other side of the political divide. Pre poning.

President Mahama has deplored attitudes of self aggrandisement by some pastors in the country who are abusing their gifts from God to promote themselves. His remarks presented with a straight face in the oil rich and voter sensitive Western Region, were drafted by His Holiness Higher Than You DR. DR. DR. Professor Emiratus, Sir, Lord Overseerer of the Earth Bishop Duncan Williams, a close relative of Field Marshal Dada Conqueror of Scotland (he left out Wales, soggy chips) Idi Amin, cousin to Emperor Bokassa, who singlehandedly, months ago, commanded the Ghanaian currency, the cedi to rise. It did. Now you need a higher heap of cedis to buy one US dollar. Pre poning. And Seth Terkper, Minister of Finance, wants to claim credit, mtcheeew. And Shaka Zulu to you. Pre poned.