The YesiYesi Newspaper Review- You can’t touch this

Former President Jerry John Rawlings has confirmed that his favourite song is “You Can’t Touch This’. Sounds frightingly similar to ‘Don’t Touch Me’-  the soap. A caustic home grown solution popular back in the revolutionary days that could bleach your skin, cure yaws, destroy hair lice, address piles, raise your blood pressure and your likelihood of skin cancer, in one application.

Mr. Rawlings said in his interview with MC Hammer, (an ill-fated now bankrupt African American hiphop star who it turns out is actually an expert on African geopolitics), that before transporting himself from bloody military rule into despotic constitutional rule he personally endorsed the application of several clauses into the 1992 Constitution that would make it virtually impossible for anyone to achieve anything including independence of the withered branches of state such as the police, supreme court, parliament …. let alone prosecute him and his posse for anything unless he, the Executive said so.  How much more electoral reform?  Its all about strategy and the former Flight Lieutenant who after leaving office became a world statesman entrusted at some point in eliminating hunger and mosquitoes/malaria, knows all about strategy.  Talk don’t do.  And use the right soap.
JJ disclosed that his recent calls for the Electoral Commissioner to heed the voice of the people is yet another of his gimmicks.  His daughter, the home grown Dr. Ezanetor Rawlings is running for office, Papa J said he knows, because the Constitution was set up to suit him, that jack will happen to her or to him, but hey it makes him look good to rail against the obvious.
The good will be created from being seen to advocate publicly for that which is nigh impossible, (because he set it up that way) rubs off like Don’t Touch Me soap on his daughter.  The revolutionary plan is for Ezanetor to play up the Rawlings name, never mention or address the full package of his legacy and that of her strident mother and speak enough twi in public.  That is enough to inherit the stool her father carved ….. she will be riding on a horse, literally, all the way to Flag Staff House.  With the Don’t Touch Me Constitution her father caused to be created.
‘You Can’t Touch This’.