The YesiYesi Newspaper Review- Harmattan 

HARMATTAN No Fly Zone in Ghana
Leaves on tracks was and may still remain the default reserve of British Rail on why their usually efficient transport service, for weeks, in winter simply doesn’t produce. In Ghana, the HARMATTAN covers all. No Fly Zone.
Having spent millions on single sourcing contracts to prefered contractors (there is an election coming up, right and wheels need greasing with perfumed shea butter?) to upgrade the country’s moribund airports, year after year, particularly the Kumasi airport to ‘international standards’, (no international airline will fly to Oseikrom anytime soon but who needs them anyway?), the HARMATTAN, experienced yearly, a bit like the rains and the rainy seasons’s cyclical flooding in low lying areas of Accra, Ghana’s capital city, has this week grounded domestic flights. HARMATTAN covers all. No Flying Zone.

The Vice President, Paa Kwesi Amissah-Arthur (the dear man is dusting off, literally, his resume as it seems being dead in the water as prescribed by the Constitution for the role and his tepid temperament means he may well not have a job soon) could not fly as programmed to Tamale to drive further in a furious convoy of 4 by 4s carrying the party faithful and taxpayer funded obese to outlying Bolgatanga to grace the National Farmers Day last Friday.

A day in which a middling country reknowned for its low productivity and joyous celebration of mediocrity any way (the energy crises is another excuse for another party) could take yet another holiday to celebrate its befuddled agricultural policy and the official give aways of locally reduced/produced alcoholic beverages and toilet roll (hard on the bum and made in Ghana) to winners. The same Harmattan No Fly Zone took place last year, the year before that, the year before that and the year before that year before…. The upside of the Harmattan No Fly Zone is that citizens faced for 4 years running without energy, no longer have to fan themselves to sleep. Its winter time in Ghana. Leaves on the track in the UK equals Harmattan No Fly Zone in Ghana. ZZzzzzzzzzz

The Speaker of Parliament, Mr. Edward Doe Adjaho famously refused to take the Oath of Office when in November 2014, he became, in the peculiar absence of the President and the Vice President, per constitutional arrangement, de jure President of the Land. Pesky lawyerly types removed this matter of principle to court for an interoperation of his dry behaviour. The Supreme Court has latterly ruled, not a goat in sight, that The Right Honourable Speaker erred in not swearing in. Fortunately, there is evidence that a previous Speaker before him, the towering D.F. Annan also committed an illegality in declining to be sworn into office when a similar situation presented itself. Two wrongs make a right in dusty Ghana where precedent of not anticipating the obvious (harmattan like the monsoon is annual, rainy season is seasonal, living in the tropics with ample sunlight means solar power can and should be harnessed with critical investments….) or doing the right thing, results in Harmattan No Fly Zone.

Fortunately, there is a bright warm and moist opportunity on the horizon. Led by Ghana’s moist, ample (and curiously continually lightening of skin) First Lady, Africa’s spouses of the presidents (ASP’s) with their counterpart in China (Nii How?) have committed to many more workshops, seminars, protocol signings and photo opportunities to deliver an AIDS free next generation. There will be no analysis of policy and results, of best and worst practice, reproach for the obvious slippage or coordination (so we are not replicating) with the Ministries of Health that their husband’s governments are supposed to resource to do exactly what it is these middling and idling women are now committed to delivering.
The wife of President Jacob Zuma of South Africa, (which one, the man has 4 or?) – the man who was charged, investigated, prosecuted and controversially cleared of allegedly forcibly having unprotected sex with an HIV positive woman, in mitigation he did take a shower right after said event – is in the lead of this campaign for the youth to take charge and responsibility for their health. Someone pass the carbolic soap, show time.

YesiYesi reporting live from a shea butter farm in Bolgatanga, smearing ourselves with protection – we export in bulk and unprocessed shea butter so the UK’s Body Shop can add small perfumed adjustments and sell it back to us – Fair Trade IINIT? – taking flight in the Harmattan No Fly Zone…ZZzzzzzz

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