Appiah names a 5-man provisional ‘scapegoat’ squad

Black Stars head coach, Kwesi Appiah has reportedly named a 5-man provisional ‘scapegoat’ squad ahead of next month’s FIFA World Cup in Brazil.

These players, according to our sources, will be the men to shoulder all the blame in the event of an early exit or a drubbing at the hands of either Germany or Portugal. The list which has been submitted to the Ghana Football Association (GFA) will remain undisclosed until the tournament commences.

Our sources inside the Black Stars camp explained that the customary harsh criticisms and abusive comments that has followed the national team’s exit from major tournaments has made it necessary to have a ‘scapegoat’ list. “The coach is aware that the sharp tongued and highly opinionated Ghanaian public will be out in full force when the team is eliminated or if the team suffers a heavy defeat. He also recognises that not every player can handle such scathing attacks, hence, he has selected a special squad to bear the brunt of the nation’s anger. All the abuse and public vilification will be directed at these 5 unlucky men who will be ‘taking one for the team’ as it were.”

The 5-man squad which may be whittled down to 3 players will be made up of at least 2 defenders. Only two out of the possible 5 players will be on the pitch at any point in time and they will be expected to bear all the blame that may come with a defeat or a poor performance. These ‘scapegoats’ will however be conditioned, mentally and emotionally, to handle all the finger-pointing and name calling that will be directed at them.

Our sources also hinted that Baby Jet, Ghana’s number one striker/chief azonto dancer/silky smooth voice highlife singer- who has in recent times become a soft target for insensitive critics- will not be on the list.

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