Are you a football manager with no prospect of securing a job in any top flight league? Will you happily work with a football association that has no long term vision? Can you deal with over 25 million highly opinionated fans who are always ready to offer unsolicited advice on anything from team selection to team tactics? If you answered yes to all these questions, then this may be the job for you.
Job Title: Football Manager
Responsible For: A team of nearly men
Qualification: Physical Intervention Training, Levels 1/2/3
Type of Employment: Permanent, but you will be dismissed if you decide to apply common sense and reason in the management of the team
1. The FA has no long term vision for football development, it operates on an ‘anything-goes’ philosophy. Your main duty is to build a team based on this philosophy.
2. You will be expected to have no plans to develop youth football. The ‘anything-goes’ philosophy will apply here also.
3. You will be expected to be a puppet of the top officials at the FA and the Ministry of Youth and Sports (MoYS).
4.You will be expected to work with players chosen by the top hierarchy of the FA/MoYS.
5. Expect to mediate disputes between players and FA/MoYS officials over non payment of appearance fees during all international competitions.
6. Be prepared to employ your physical intervention skills if you choose to have Sulley Muntari and Kevin Prince Boateng in your team; these boys are not afraid to call a spade a spade.
7. Be prepared to work with players who are 18 years according to their passports but have children who are as old as 15 years.
Interested individuals should send CVs to: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com