Tag Archives: 2014 FIFA World Cup

President of Isle of Flagstaff writes letter to new baby, promises to give him 99% of national resources

President of Isle of Flagstaff writes letter to new baby, promises to give him 99% of national resources

The head of the kleptocratic regime of the Isle of Flagstaff is marking the birth of his son with an open letter to the newborn. The president, in letter, promises to use 99 percent of the isle’s oil revenues to ensure his son lives a lavish lifestyle at the expense of the people he governs.…

Black Queens to take tips from CHRAJ boss on how to make hotel ‘home away from home’

Members of the national women’s football team who have so far refused to vacate their hotel rooms at the M Plaza Hotel over unpaid bonuses have called on the head of the Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice (CHRAJ) to share tips and best practices on how to make their hotel rooms feel more…

GFA top job contenders to be selected using coefficient formula

Individuals wishing to end the 10 year reign of Kwesi Nyantekyi at the helm of the Ghana Football Association will have to demonstrate “an exceptional understanding of the the coefficient formula,” according to the FA’s vetting committee.   “As part of the new vetting process, all contenders- including the incumbent, will have to take a…

Adebayor is a ‘professional dancer’ according Google search suggestions

Do you want to know Richard ‘Olele’ Kingson’s age? Just ask Google. And if you would like to know how many times President Mahama has broken his promises, Google has the answer for that too. But it seems Google has a bit of a problem remembering Emmanuel Adebayor’s profession.   According to Google search suggestions,…

Dzamefe Report recommends ‘Muntari slaps’ for all GFA and MoYS officials

Officials of the Ghana Football Association and the Minister of Youth and Sports who sanctioned the payment of $100, 000 to the Black Stars’ ball boy should be subjected to “Muntari slaps,” according to a recommendation by the Dzamefe Report. The commission’s 396-page report which outlines Ghana’s shambolic showing at the last World Cup in…

Larry Acheampong’s Angolan friend pleased with white paper on Dzamefe report

Larry Acheampong’s phantom Angolan friend who was paid some $20,000 for providing directions to a popular supermarket in Brazil during the last World Cup has reportedly welcomed the government’s white paper on the Dzamefe Commission Report with wild celebrations.  The phantom Angolan who is permanently resident inside Larry Acheampong’s head, said he was “pleased with government’s…

FIFA’s Jack Warner fights extradition to US, cites fear of being shot by racist cops

Former FIFA vice president, Jack Warner, has mounted a legal challenge against his extradition to the US, arguing that “the colour of his skin will make him an open target in a country where law enforcement officials routinely abuse and harass blacks.” In a statement to a court in his native Trinidad and Tobago, Mr.…

FBI requests Dzamefe report to help decode the co-efficient of FIFA bribe distribution 

Sources close to the investigations into corruption at FIFA have revealed that the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) has asked for a copy of the report by the Justice Dzamefe Commission in an effort to understand how the alleged bribes were distributed.  The Dzamefe Commission’s report is the result of several months of inquiry into…

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