Tag Archives: FIFA

Larry Acheampong’s Angolan friend pleased with white paper on Dzamefe report

Larry Acheampong’s Angolan friend pleased with white paper on Dzamefe report

Larry Acheampong’s phantom Angolan friend who was paid some $20,000 for providing directions to a popular supermarket in Brazil during the last World Cup has reportedly welcomed the government’s white paper on the Dzamefe Commission Report with wild celebrations.  The phantom Angolan who is permanently resident inside Larry Acheampong’s head, said he was “pleased with government’s…

Mugabe set to challenge Hayatou for CAF prez as age limit is scrapped

The 91 year old Zimbabwean leader, Robert Mugabe has announced intentions to run for the Confederation of African Football (CAF) presidency following a decision by the organisation to remove an age limit on its officials. The decision to allow officials to serve past the age of 70 was widely viewed as an attempt by the…

Ghana/Ivory Coast to settle maritime dispute with penalty shoot-out

Officials from Ghana and Ivory Coast have agreed to settle the longstanding maritime border dispute with the kick of a ball. The surprise agreement is believed to be the result of mounting pressures on both governments from citizens wishing to see the dispute resolved through a more “exciting means.” Both Ghanaian and Ivorian citizens argue…

AFCON 2015: Black Stars will receive Joy Dadi and T-roll as appearance fee

The Black Stars will receive bottles of Joy Dadi Bitters and bundles of toilet paper as appearance fee during next month’s African Cup of Nations in Equatorial Guinea. Sources close to the FA said the unusual pay structure has been put in place to avoid a repeat of the World Cup fiasco which saw some…

Ghana to bid for Winter Olympics if AFCON bid fails

Ghanaian officials have revealed plans to bid for the rights to host the next Winter Olympics if the nation’s last minute bid to host the 2017 African Nations Cup (AFCON) is unsuccessful. Officials admitted that they are hell-bent on ensuring that Ghana wins a bid to host anything- “even if it’s the Winter Olympics,” although…

Gov’t launches ‘The Dumbest Xcuse’ show for appointees

The government of Ghana has launched a talent show to find that one appointee with a special talent for coming up with the most dumbest excuse as cover up the misappropriation of public funds. Dubbed ‘The Dumbest Xcuse,’ this competition seeks to identify and honour one government appointee who stands head and shoulders above his…

Man Utd smash British transfer record twice in 24hrs to sign Howard Webb

Manchester United has broken the British transfer fee record twice within 24 hours by signing Howard Webb for £70.5 million this morning, eclipsing the £59.7 million signing of Angel di Maria from Real Madrid on Tuesday. The 5-year deal which was sealed early this morning will see Howard Webb come out of retirement to play…

Fix it like Forsythe : A guide to dealing with undercover reporters

A new self-help book co-written by two lesser known Ghanaian authors has made it to the top of The Telegraph best seller list, according to reports. ‘Fix it like Forsythe: A guide to dealing with undercover reporters,’ by Mr. NO Forsythe and Mr.OP Boni Nketia, is a step by step guide on the best cause…

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