Tag Archives: Ghana

President of Isle of Flagstaff writes letter to new baby, promises to give him 99% of national resources

President of Isle of Flagstaff writes letter to new baby, promises to give him 99% of national resources

The head of the kleptocratic regime of the Isle of Flagstaff is marking the birth of his son with an open letter to the newborn. The president, in letter, promises to use 99 percent of the isle’s oil revenues to ensure his son lives a lavish lifestyle at the expense of the people he governs.…

Prez creates Ministry of Power Barges amid further power plant delays

President John Mahama has created the Ministry of Power Barges, which will be responsible for cobbling together “new and creative excuses” to explain the length of time it is taking to deliver the “emergency” power plants from Turkey. The delivery of the power plants, originally scheduled for April, then September then November, was previously overseen…

Mahama to be picked from KIA by a convoy of bamboo bicycles

President John Drama-nyie Mahama will be picked up by a convoy of Made-in-Ghana bamboo bicylces when he returns from his extended visit to the United States, according to the Flagstaff House (FSH). Officials from the FSH say the decision to ditch the usual presidential convoy- made up of a collection of V8 SUVs and a…

Black Queens to take tips from CHRAJ boss on how to make hotel ‘home away from home’

Members of the national women’s football team who have so far refused to vacate their hotel rooms at the M Plaza Hotel over unpaid bonuses have called on the head of the Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice (CHRAJ) to share tips and best practices on how to make their hotel rooms feel more…

T. B. Duncan-Judas commands Ghana to rise from HIPC

The Reverend Archbishop Major General Dr. T. B. Duncan-Judas has “commanded” Ghana to rise from its recently acquired Highly Indebted Poor Country (HIPC) status. Leading worshippers at Monday night’s service, the CEO and founder of Holy Gospel Anointed Mountain Of Abundant Faith and Blessings International Believers Ministries blamed “demons and mysterious dwarfs” for the country’s…

Westerners are trooping to Ghana in search of greener pastures – Oko Vanderpuije

Ghana’s remarkable economic transformation under President Mahama and his able team is causing droves of Western nationals to flock to Ghana in search of greener pastures, according to Alfred Oko Vanderpuije, the Mayor of Accra. Announcing his intentions to run for parliament on the ticket of the ruling NDC, Mr. Vanderpuije claimed “Americans and Europeans…

Journalists to receive free self-defence training

A New York-based press freedom lobby group, Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) will run a two week self-defence training programme for Ghanaian journalists. A report by the lobby group said newsgathering in Ghana has become increasingly hostile, comparing the plight of journalists in the country to “war zone conditions, where journalists are constantly heckled and…

Striking doctors to offer free check-ups to “other bootlickers suffering from idiocy”

Doctors currently striking over conditions of service say they will offer “thorough medical check-ups to all bootlickers and minions of the government who seem to be showing signs of idiocy.” Executives of the Ghana Medical Association (GMA) said they are treating the high prevalence of idiocy among the government’s bootlickers and flatterers as an emergency.…

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