Tag Archives: nigeria

Nigerian attempts to acquire Chelsea FC 

Nigerian attempts to acquire Chelsea FC 

Just days after Nigerian billionaire, Aliko Dangote declared intentions to acquire Arsenal Football Club, another Nigerian has reportedly launched an audacious attempt to acquire Chelsea F.C from current owner Roman Abramovich. Chief Goodluck Temimobele hoped to to acquire the newly crowned English Premier League champions in an elaborate 419 scheme. Below is the email the…

Ballot papers: EC to replace photos of Jonathan and Buhari with rock and hard place

To ensure Nigerians are clear on what they are voting for, the country’s election commission has decided that ballot papers which originally bore the images of incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan and former military ruler Muhammadu Buhari will be replaced with new ballot papers bearing the images of a rock and a hard place. “We have…

Boko Haram expels leader for failure to show jihad training school certificate

Boko Haram has reportedly expelled its leader, Abubakar Shekau, for failure to produce a certificate to back claims that he completed a jihad training school in Afghanistan. According to sources inside the militant group, the ruthless leader who has masterminded a sustained campaign of mayhem and misery in Nigeria was unable to produce certificates, a letter…

NigeriaDecides: PDP and APC battle for newly created Ghana State

Nigeria’s main political parties, the ruling People’s Democratic Party (PDP) and the opposition All Progressives Congress (APC) are engaged in a fierce battle for the governorship seat of Ghana State- Nigeria’s newly created overseas territory. According to Nigerian electoral authorities, the creation of Ghana State and the resultant need for a state governor will provide…

Goodluck to respond to Boko Haram massacre in Baga with hashtags

Nigerian president, Goodluck Jonathan has broken his long silence concerning the gruesome murder of about 2000 Nigerians by Boko Hiram militants in Baga, a town near Nigeria’s border with Chad. The 57 year old leader who kicked off his re-election campaign with a speech which failed to mention the spectre of Boko Haram, has reportedly…

Goodluck, Ouattara and 2 Johns set new world record for largest gathering of clowns

On Saturday, while ordinary West Africans were grappling with trivial issues like Ebola, cholera and malaria, three serving West African Heads of States and a former president were performing the very stately duty of cutting ribbons at a new 30,000 capacity football stadium in the Nigerian state of Akwa Ibom. The event which featured Nigerian’s…

Ghanaians/Nigerians sue Jamie Oliver for cooking jollof without Maggie cube

West Africans are passionate about two things and two things only; football and jollof rice. Countless friendships and marriages have ended over jollof disputes. To misrepresent jollof in any way, shape or form is to misrepresent a West African’s very essence. It is therefore no surprise that a group of Ghanaians and Nigerians have dragged…

Missing: Please help find this 3 months old

We are searching for a 3 months old who has disappeared from the world’s attention. #BringBackOurGirls was last seen in the company of the American first lady, Michelle Obama, the British prime minister David Cameron, Pope Francis, Angelina Jolie and many other celebrities. #BringBackOurGirls is over 1M tweets tall and weighs over 200K likes.  …

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