Africa’s Got Talent

A number of western based charity organisations have launched a talent show to find an African child to star in adverts aimed at raising funds to end poverty in Africa.

The talent show, which has been dubbed Africa’s Got Talent, is based on the same concept as most TV talent shows. Its aim is to find one lucky African child who will be the poster boy or girl of a campaign by western charity groups and a number of western celebrities who have made it their divine obligation to save Africa from it’s unending horrors.

Any African child, preferably a boy, between the ages of 2 -12 years can audition for the show. Interested children are required to send in a 2 minute video showcasing their acting talents. According to the organisers, “although previous acting experience is not a requirement, the ability to assume different roles will be a huge advantage. Hence we will be looking for a child who can learn and adapt quickly. In one campaign ad he could be posing as a child soldier from Sierra Leone brandishing an AK-47 while narrating how he raped and killed the women in an entire village. And in the next ad, he could be playing the classic starving Somalian child too weak to beat away flies from his lips. Or he could be posing as the grateful African child with a wide grin across his face because he has been handed a bowl of rice by a benevolent Hollywood actress. It’s a huge role and we want the most talented child to win.”

Children who qualify from the auditioning stage will go onto the live shows where they will perform before a live audience and a panel of judges. The team of judges is rumoured to include African expert/saviour of Congo DR and Hollywood actor, Ben Affleck and pop icon, Madonna, who is an expert on turning the adoption of African children into huge PR stunts.

The chief executives of this multimillion dollar poverty industry are reportedly delighted about this new show. “The number of charity organisations has seen a phenomenal increase over the years and this has made the competition for donations extremely fierce. If the donations keep dwindling, we will soon have to take pay cuts to our meagre six-figure salaries and we do not fancy that. It is therefore necessary that we project an image of Africa that moves people to give more. We have to make the European public believe that every African child is starving and is only a cup of dirty water away from death. We need compelling and emotive images and we hope this show can unearth that talented African child who can play that role.”

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