The African Union marked the Africa Day celebrations on Sunday with a statement expressing profound gratitude to the South African president, Jacob Zuma, for providing his fellow African leaders with a legitimate reason to take a well deserved break from the incessant complains of their citizens concerning irrelevant domestic issues.
The sheer number of African leaders at the ceremony was a testimony to the level of respect and admiration for Mr. Zuma, who is seen as a shinning example of how one can spend £13.7m of taxpayers’ money on upgrading one’s private home and still win an election comfortably. The statement which came from the union’s headquarters in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, was reportedly released on behalf of the 27 or so African leaders who jetted to Pretoria on Saturday to witness the inauguration of Jacob Zuma for a second 5 year term in office. “We will like to dedicate this year’s Africa Day celebrations to our brother Jacob Zuma for providing us an escape from our nagging citizens. We are grateful that we had the opportunity to enjoy a blissful day in Pretoria, away from our various domestic crises.”
Our sources in Addis Ababa hinted that Nigeria’s distinguished leader, Goodluck Jonathan was particularly instrumental in drafting this statement. President Goodluck, who seems to have run out of luck and ideas was profoundly grateful for the opportunity to enjoy a light moment with his fellow African “Ogas” after a tedious week in Paris. The Nigerian leader made the long trip to the French capital last week to hold discussions on the Boko Haram issue with neighbours; Cameroon, Benin, Niger and Chad.
South Sudan’s President, Salva Kiir Mayardit, was also thankful for the opportunity to take a break from the very noble task of orchestrating a civil war to share a glass of champagne with his pals in Pretoria. Ghana’s John Mahama was particularly grateful for the chance to have a quiet word with Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe on how to manage the public backlash as Ghana’s currency continues its free fall.