To ensure Nigerians are clear on what they are voting for, the country’s election commission has decided that ballot papers which originally bore the images of incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan and former military ruler Muhammadu Buhari will be replaced with new ballot papers bearing the images of a rock and a hard place.
“We have noted that using the images of the two candidates on the ballot papers will amount to false advertisement. We have therefore decided to replace them with images which will enable voters to better appreciate the choices before them when they go to the polls on Saturday,” said a statement from The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC).
A source at the INEC said one of the two candidates will be represented by a rock and the other by a hard place, and that will be settled by the toss of a coin if the two men are unable to come to an arrangement by Thursday morning. Remarking on the relevance of this particular arrangement, our source said “it does not really matter who gets to be the rock or hard place since both are just as bad,” adding that “whichever one Nigerians end up with, they’re sure to get crushed.”
International observers who have arrived in the oil rich nation to monitor the 28 March presidential elections have also welcomed the move, saying the “rock and hard place images” are accurate reflections of the situation on the ground. “It may well have been Dumb and Dumber on the ballot papers but a rock and a hard place equally fits,” noted one observer from ECOWAS.