Dikileaks- MoH Spunks $5mil On Fake Condoms

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For the very difficult tasks Ghanaian politicians and government officials have to carry out, it is understandable that the state provides them with virtually everything to aid them execute their duties effectively. Official cars, official Chinese sponsored phones, official mistresses and they even get official condoms!

Several months ago, a high ranking member of government reported a leak in the official condom he had been supplied. This man is not exactly King Kong. He is your average sugar daddy-40 something years, struggles to bend over to tie his own shoe laces and his bedroom game time will make Usain Bolt’s 100m world record seem like a long time. So alarm bells will naturally start ringing when such an individual reports a leak in his official condom after use.

The Ministry of Health accordingly set up a committee of experts to rigorously test the 100 million pieces of condoms it bought for a knock down price of $5m.

The seven-member committee headed by the renowned Dr. Wapipi Jay finished this scientific enquiry well before the scheduled time. Presenting the committee’s report at a press conference earlier this week, Dr. Wapipi, said, 25% of the Be Safe condoms tested broke while they were in the process of being donned and the other 75% that survived a 3 minute session leaked out its content. He pointed out that none of the condoms tested survived 5 minutes of rigorous use. In conclusion he said the Be Safe condoms are only good for men who have enviable bedroom game times of between 60-120 seconds.

In a separate interview, Mr. Rockstone, a local manufacturer of condoms, expressed disappointment at the MoH for not patronising goods by local manufacturers. He assured Ghanaians his product which bears his name, is very durable and will not break or leak even if it was used by an elephant or pierced with the sharp end of an umbrella.

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