Discovery Channel to launch new series of hit reality show ‘Jungle Gold’

Discovery Channel has announced it will launch a new series of the hit reality show, Jungle Gold. The new series will be modelled after the original version which debuted in 2012, tracking the journey of two American numpties, George Wright and Scott Lomu, as they pillaged through verdant forests and destroyed whole communities in rural parts of Ghana just to make a quick buck from illegal gold mining.

The new series which has been titled Jungle Gold: Ho Loot Ya Gold, premieres later this year and will follow the journey of two young Chinese petty traders as they embark on a similar venture to claim a share of the Ghanaian booty. The choice of Chinese nationals in the new series is evidence of their ever increasing presence in the illegal good mining business, locally referred to as ‘galamsey’.

An official of Discovery Channel who spoke off record assured viewers of nothing less than pure drama and suspense. “If you watched the first series and you thought George choking the local farmer was bad, then wait till you see the Chinese in action! They are ruthless. They operate with so much impunity you’d think they own the place. And they may as well own the damn country. The Chinese government is using the $3 billion Master Facility Agreement loan to pull strings within the Ghanaian administration. This explains why the Ghanaian security forces keep deporting these illegal Chinese miners yet they mysteriously end up back in the country only days afterwards.”

He also revealed that the new series, Jungle Gold: Ho Loot Ya Gold, will be airing on Ghanaian national television. “We have given GTV copies of the new series. We gave them out for free so they’ll definitely show it. It will fit in nicely with their cheap Mexican and Filipino soap operas. And for the first time, Ghanaians will be experiencing a Chinese product that isn’t fake. They are looting the gold for real.”

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