Ferguson Police Department, specialists in indiscriminate shooting, it has been revealed, is reportedly willing to offer Oscar Pistorius a lucrative position, if the Paralympic and Olympic athlete manages to walk free tomorrow.
“We are always on the look out for fresh talent and we think we have found someone who fits the bill. Oscar is trigger-happy, he sleeps with a gun under his pillow although he lives in a gated compound and when one or two shots can do the job, he fires four. This is the kind of character we want in our police force. We see ourselves in him and will be happy for him to serve with us,” remarked a Ferguson Police Department insider.
If all goes to plan, the 27 year old South African will move to Ferguson, Missouri to begin a new life as a police officer. “As a police officer in Ferguson, Oscar doesn’t need to have an ‘intruder’ in his home before he shoots. He can find a lot of ‘intruders’ on the streets just like our colleague did on August 9. He shot an unarmed black teenager at least six times, including twice in the head; and guess what? He is still a free man” explained the insider.
With the trial set to end tomorrow, Ferguson Police Department will be hoping to add another trigger-happy chappie to their ranks.