The anti GMO campaigners who took to the streets of Accra on Tuesday have been urged to put away their placards and put their faith in the honourable members of parliament, who constantly sacrifice their personal interests for the good of the ordinary Ghanaian citizen.
Speaking off record, an insider at Syngenta AG – the multi billion dollar Swiss agribusiness company alleged to be behind the introduction of GMOs into Ghana, entreated Ghanaians not to panic: “We have tested our GMO foods on a number of laboratory rats. And all of these rats showed signs of slow growth after two or three generations. Others developed fertility problems and organ development issues. But this is nothing to worry about. Ghanaians are not rats! Ghanaians are known to be physically robust, so we are certain they will do just fine.”
He further claimed that they will put contingency measures in place to take care of the health complications that will arise: “I visited the company CEO at his family home only a couple of weeks ago and as we took a walk through his organic backyard garden, we discussed plans to help the Ghanaian government secure a loan deal to build more hospitals and train more doctors to deal with the after-effects. There will be enough hospitals and highly trained medical staff to take care of all the horrible diseases that comes with eating GM food.”
One rather confused elderly citizen who spoke to our reporter said: “This thing I don’t even know what it is oh. Is it JM food or GM food? But ehh anyway, if it is coming from the west then surely it must be good for us. Their technology is always advanced so maybe they can use that to find the one that said tweeeaaa.”
He also expressed profound faith in our MPs to put the interest of the ordinary Ghanaian above all else: “These our MPs are honest and God-fearing. They took cheap China phones to approve a contract between the Chinese phone company and the Ghana government but that just goes to show they are modest people, they don’t take big bribe. And they are learned too. So I’m sure they will fight for us if they know this JM food is not good for us.”
As he walked off he remarked, “This food must be really good oh, it’s even named after our dear president. JM food, edey be k3k3.”
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YesiYesi Ghana is a satire/spoof news publication . All articles contained within this blog, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental.