The Canadian pop star, Justin Bieber is likely to have his green card revoked and be deported from the United States after his recent egg throwing and drag racing shenanigans.
More than 250,000 angry Americans have signed the “Deport Justin Bieber and revoke his green card” petition on the White House’s petition website, forcing the US government to act. And the Canadian government is allegedly not very keen on taking back their reckless, drug abusing citizen.
But a group of die-hard Justin Bieber fans who call themselves GH Beliebers have extended an open invitation to the teenage star to relocate to Ghana. They even plan to petition the government of Ghana to officially invite Bieber to migrate to Ghana.
In a letter sent to the star, the GH Beliebers wrote, “Ghana is the only place you can freely express your true self. You can be rude to people, spit on them, drive under the influence, live like you’re above the law and be a generally horrible human being; and we will not say a word. We revere and worship foreigners, so as long as you’re a foreigner and the colour of your money is right, you will be fine in Ghana.”
“If you don’t believe us then ask the Chinese. A group of them came to Ghana, illegally took over gold rich lands and mined the living hell out the land. All they left behind were craters that filled up with rain water. And guess what? These became breeding grounds for mosquitoes that will later infect the locals with malaria! And the best part of the story is that these Chinese brought in guns to protect the land they illegally acquired! How brilliant is that! LOOOL! So bring a whole armoury if you wish and you can use the little village kids as practice targets!”
“And one Chinese restaurant owner apparently spat on a Ghanaian employee and all this China man received was a slap on the wrist! We know you like to spit on your fans, so come over to Ghana, you can spit on us all you like. We are not like the Yanks. We wouldn’t drag you to court. No! Remember what we said earlier? If you’re a foreigner and the colour of your money is right you’ll live like a king!”
“Justin, if you are too scared to ask the Chinese all this- we know they can be a bit temperamental- then just ask those two American douchebags who made a fortune from that Jungle Gold documentary. If you know how much fuckery these guys got away with in Ghana, you’ll be snapping your fingers at your bodyguards to pack your bags this minute! These guys were so shocked with how much they got away with that they thanked Ghana’s Ministry of a Tourism in their documentary credits! LOL”
The letter ended, “Please make Ghana your new home, for the whole nation is singing Bieber, Bieber, Bieber ohhh! You’ll always be mine!”
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YesiYesi Ghana is a satire/spoof news publication . All articles contained within this blog, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental.