Tanzania gains independence from moronic leaders

The people of Tanzania have ended over five decades of exploitation with an official declaration of independence from incompetent and thieving politicians.

The east African nation originally gained independence from Britain in 1961 but has since been re-colonised by a bunch of crooks who have ruthlessly exploited the nation’s resources for their personal gain. Just like the Europeans before them, the homebred colonialists have stuffed their pockets while ordinary Tanzanians needlessly die of diseases like cholera– which has killed about 60 people in the last three months.

The road to independence began with the election of 56-year old John Pombe Magufuli who has swiftly set out measures aimed at kickstarting the economic freedom of ordinary Tanzanians. Magufuli, nicknamed “Bulldozer,” is determined to clear a new path for east Africa’s most populous nation with a range of cost-cutting measures– ordering the cost of a party to inaugurate the new parliament to be slashed from $100,000 to $7,000 and imposing a ban on unnecessary foreign travel by government officials.

The new president has also cancelled the December 9 Independence Day celebrations–usually marked with fanfare, and replaced it with a nationwide clean-up programme aimed at stemming the spread of cholera.

Tanzanians are hugely excited by events in their country and have also urged other Africans to rise against the rule of incompetent leaders, noting that “independence from European colonialists is meaningless unless it is linked to the total economic liberation of ordinary Africans.”

Tanzania has now joined Nigeria as the only African nations to recently gain independence from the rule of incompetent and thieving leaders.