Yahya Jammeh’s Commonwealth

Several months after withdrawing his country from the Commonwealth of Nations, Gambian president, Yahya Jammeh, has announced the formation of a new organisation called C’monWealthy Dictators.

According to a press statement reportedly signed by His Excellency Sheikh Professor Alhaji Dr. Yahya Abdul-Azziz Jemus Junkung Jammeh, Commander In Chief of The Armed Forces and the Chief Custodian of the Sacred Constitution of The Gambia, this new organisation will be an exclusive association of world leaders who have been in power for 10 years and over. President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and Yoweri Museveni of Uganda are believed to have both formally accepted the invitation to be part of this prestigious organisation. A number of other respectable long-serving world leaders, including Cameroon’s Paul Biya, are expected to announce their membership in the coming weeks.

The mission of C’monWealthy Dictators is to act as an agency to pull together the considerable years of experience of its members to help nurture and grow budding dictators and leaders wishing to remain in office for a lifetime. The organisation will seek to promote and uphold the principles of longevity and unilateralism.

The Gambian leader indicated that he will, in the future, broaden the membership of the organisation to include long-serving royals such as Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and Queen Margrethe II of Denmark who have ruled for 57 years and 37 years respectively. “The principles and conventions that keep monarchs in power are very similar to those of the C’monWealthy Dictators. We both lack democratic legitimacy and all the power is in the hands of a single person. I am absolutely certain Auntie Lizzie’s 57 years reign will be an incredible well of experience we can dip into. And we also hope she will provide sound advice on how to make our leadership positions hereditary just like hers.”

President Jammeh also hinted of plans to launch a multi-sports competition to rival the Commonwealth Games.

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