Prophesy like TB: 5-step acronym to prophesy like a pro

The founder and CEO of Holy Gospel Anointed Mountain Of Abundant Faith and Blessings International Believers Ministries, Reverend Archbishop Major General Dr. T. B. Duncan-Judas has laid out a 5-step guide to help individuals who wish to get into the business of foolproof prophecies.

According to Archbishop Major General Dr. T. B Duncan-Judas, the 5-step acronym– FALSE, has been successfully used by his brother-in-shams who has recently prophesied of impending terror attacks in Nigeria– which is no stranger to such attacks; and Ghana– a country playing host to known ISIS recruiters.

FALSE is a foolproof format which guarantees 100 percent success rate, and is widely used by the top names in the fake prophecy business.

1. Foretell an obvious future event

Take an accident waiting to happen and present it as a prophecy. Example: ‘I can sense in my spirit that people will die in Nigeria from an attack by extremists.’  Given the ineffectiveness of Nigeria’s security agencies and the increasing appetite of Boko Haram militants to orchestrate more chaos, you can be sure your prophecy will come to pass. It’s really easy. Just look around you, find events that are likely to happen and then present them as prophecies.


2. Appoint yourself the sole channel for divine revelations

Emphasise the point that you are the sole channel for such divine revelations. This will ensure that you have no challengers since you are the only individual who hears and sees signs of impending disasters. My brother-in-shams is the master of this act. Even after he spectacularly failed to foresee the collapse of his own church building, his followers somehow still believe he foresees all things before they happen.


3. Lingo

Deliver your prophecy in Biblical jargon to give it some authenticity. Example: I sense in my spirit that there will be an attack by evil people. Multitudes shall perish from this disaster.


4. Specifics to be avoided 

There is a saying in the false prophesy business- ‘Vague is sage.’ Always remember this important saying before any prophecy. NEVER EVER give specific timelines. Keep the timeline vague, this will give you room for escape when things go wrong. So NEVER say, for example- ‘There will be in terror attack in city A on this day at time xx:xx’. Instead say something like: ‘I am seeing Thursday, Friday, Saturday. But maybe it can be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. These evil people they are very funny. Anything can just happen.’ Remember- keep it simple, keep it vague.


5. Enter an “IF” somewhere in your prophecy 

Make sure you always insert ‘if’ somewhere in the prophecy. Example: ‘I see Thursday, Friday. Pray for these two nations– Nigeria and Ghana, over an attack. I am seeing attack but we can stop this IF you open your lips and pray for these two nations for protection.’ The false prophecy business, we call this the ‘Win-Win’ factor. Whatever happens, the prophet comes out with his reputation intact. If the terrorists strikes, he will say, ‘I told you so.’ If the security agencies get their act together and put in place effective security measures to prevent any attacks, Mr. I-Can-Foresee-All-Disasters-Except-The-Collapse-Of-My-Own-Building will say, ‘it was because I interceded on your behalf.’